As the one-year anniversary of the May 31, 2009 murder of Dr. George Tiller approaches, Words of Choice is sharing people's thoughts about this incredible doctor from Wichita, Kansas.We asked people to write their thoughts down in performances, and posted them in two previous installments, here and here. We also invited others to share their recollections, and this installment, sent in with the note, "I wrote this the day after George was murdered."
"My Thoughts about George"
by Dave
I met George Tiller and Warren Hern about 10 years ago in Australia. I felt like a kid who had met his baseball idols. I couldn't believe that they spoke to me, much less took a picture with me. I still have it.
Over the years I became friendly with George; Warren too, but today I am talking about George. We both dealt with demons in our pasts and that forged a special bond between us. Of course, George had that ability. He made everyone who met him feel special. The truth of the matter is, he was the special one. I always felt, because of this, that I could tell George anything and he wouldn't judge me. If I had a problem, he would be there to help.
George once said, "if you don't have time for your friends, you won't have any friends."
George took me under his wing (it was rather crowded under there, he helped so many people) and guided me along the path in the National Abortion Federation (NAF) and life.
A little story.... I received a call one night, about 2 a.m. New York time, from an attending (physician) in the hospital. They had a problem and wanted me to come and help them. They suggested an approach to the problem and I said "OK." Then I got to thinking -- always a dangerous thing. I've never done what they asked, but George had.
So I told my wife I was going to call George. "It's 2 o'clock in the morning. You can't do that!" "But it's earlier in Kansas," I reasoned. Besides, George is my friend and he always has time for his friends. Well, maybe I was stretching it a little there. But, I figured George had done this a thousand times, I never had.
So I made the call. Jeanne answered the phone. She and George had obviously been sleeping. I explained my situation to George and my plan. "My god, David, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard! You can't seriously be considering that?!" Oops, it seems George is a little cranky. Well, I did wake him up. Well, as you all know, George didn't say anything like that. It's probably what I would have said had I been on the receiving end of such a call at that hour of the morning. But George, in his slow, gentle, patient, thoughtful and cordial manner, told me "Dave I've done what you are contemplating a total of seven times. I don't want to do it an eighth."
Uh oh! That’s not the answer I was expecting. George went on to tell me that I should not go to my office to pick up my instruments. Rather, go to the hospital and assess the situation, he said. The correct course of action will make itself apparent to you.
OK, George. If you say so. So off I went, knowing that I was not going with plan A.
Sure enough, the attending (doctor) met me and said, "I want you to do plan A." I told him that George Tiller told me not to do that, and I wasn't going to. We would have to figure out a different approach.
We examined the patient, and lo and behold, a different, much safer approach manifested itself and all turned out very well. How the heck did George know that?
I then tried to think of other stupid ideas, so I could pick up some more pearls from George.
I once told George that I had a problem that was really troubling me. A NAF meeting was coming up. George said, we'll have some time to talk there. One morning, we ate breakfast together and I told George my tales of woe. He listened, a rare trait indeed, and didn't interrupt at all, rare trait number two. When I was finished, he gave me sound, empathetic, caring, intelligent advice. This man, who probably had more problems in one day than I had in a year, made me feel, at that moment, that my issues were the most important things in his life. When you spoke with George, he gave you his undivided attention. He then asked me to stay in touch with him to tell him how things turned out.
Which, of course, I did.
Did that make me special? Well, I thought so, but countless thousands around the world have George Tiller stories. Who of us (in the choice community) doesn't have their favorite George gem? Who hasn't been touched by his generosity, intelligence, compassion, expertise, and friendship? His love? He has touched so many of us in so many ways, we call him “Saint George.”
I often felt that this made George a little uncomfortable and we spoke about it on occasion. George was no saint. Though when one does saintly things on a daily basis, it may be hard to convince people of that. George was merely one of us. But, as I've said numerous times publicly and privately, George was merely the best of us. He has set the bar so high, no one will ever reach it. But we can all strive to be better, so that we can approach his standard. Maybe collectively we can achieve what this remarkable man did by himself.
I know one day I will stop crying. It's just not going to be today. I love you George and I miss you.
~Dave
[Send your thoughts about Dr. George Tiller to: wordsofchoice@mindspring.com]Posted by Cindy Cooper
Pic above: Memorial demonstration in Union Square, NYC, 2009, shortly after Dr. Tiller's murder, as people sign a giant thank you spread across the ground.
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